Forgiving

Wow, what a boy I have. :) So a few months ago... like in January, I told Klay I was having a hard time without him. I told him that I would like to talk to him about it when he got home. But then he wrote me a letter in March and asked me to tell him what I was having troubles with... he said he didn't want to wait until he got home, he said that he wanted me to tell him everything now. Well the thing I was struggling with was Edgar. I couldn't quite get over him, and it was really frustrating for me! Because I always knew that I wanted Klay more than anything... but I was so lonely and just wanted the attention that edgar gave me I guess. So after Klay asked me to tell him, I prayed about it, cause I didn't want to tell him something that would make him super sad and distracted. After I prayed, I felt like it was the right thing to do to tell him, so I wrote him a letter about it, it was pretty vague, I didn't go in to much details, but I got the point across. Well he didn't get this letter until 1 week ago!!! 3 months! I was freaking out every P-day that he was going to get the letter and be super sad. But at the same time, he always tells me that he will forgive me for anything, and I trusted him that he would. When he got the letter he didn't say much about it, just hinted at it a little, this is what he said:
"lace, i dont expect you to be perfect. neither do i condemn thee. i confide in your words and they comfort me as they did before. Follow Christ. He is the light and the life. i hope that you have success with your talk and that many can feel the influence of the spirit. You are still my Hero. Thank you for your trust in me. Doctrine and Covenants 9:8-10. i hope that as you ask about me, that it will burn within your bosom. that it will be clear without stupor of thought. I love you little one."
So after getting that I was relieved. But I still wanted to know what he was really thinking... if he was disappointed a little, if he was surprised, if he trusted me anymore? The week after, he sent me a voice recording about it, and it was just what I needed. He was so understanding and forgiving. He reminded me that he is doing everything that he can, it is all my choice now. He can't stop things from happening with other boys, it is my choice. It reminded me of the quote from president Monson, "choose your love and love your choice." It is all a choice! No one can force us to love someone. People often say that they fell in love... as if it wasn't a choice, it was out of their control. But if you can "fall in love" you can easily "fall out of love". as if it is out of your control. Love is definitely a choice, and you have to choose every day. Klay also said in his voice recording,
"don't go searching in the garbage while the chicken is in the oven! God is cooking me!"
hahaha he is funny. I love Klay and I am happy and grateful that I have learned how to choose him every day. It is him with eternity, or someone else with temporary attention and guilt. Easy choice right? I just wish I would have thought of that earlier!

Also we reached 14 Months! here is the poem!

My Argentina nails :) They play Switzerland tomorrow in the world cup, Go Argentina!!

Make a wish! :)

Me with Klay's new nephew! Can't wait for Klay to meet him :)

Grateful

If you know me very well, you know that I really don't like reading. I have probably read a total of 10 novels in my life... . A lot of people really like it, they enjoy being in a different world for a while, being able to get caught up in the story. But for some reason I really don't. haha I do enjoy those things, but I feel like I should be living my own life, instead of spending hours reading about someone else's... especially if it's a fiction book. However, I do love reading books that give me a message, something that makes me think about my own life, something that makes me smarter. That probably explains why I am one of the few people that actually enjoy reading an anatomy textbook. I love the Book of Mormon, the Bible, the Doctrine and Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price, I have been taught how to relate them to my life, and they have taught me some of the greatest lessons, and gave me some of my much needed answers to prayers. I just finished reading the Elizabeth Smart book called, "My Story". For those of you who haven't heard about Elizabeth Smart... she was kidnapped when she was 14 and was rescued 9 months later. I remember when this happened. I would have only been 7 but I remember hearing about it on the news. I remember praying that they would find her and that she could be with her family again. But I never understood quite what she was going through during those 9 months that she was missing, until I read the book. I never could have imagined the terrible things that happened to her, but now I know. One chapter of the book is during Thanksgiving while she is with her captors. I was so impressed that even though she was living through these terrible things, she was able to find so many things that she was grateful for. This made me think, "how grateful am i?" because i am not being held captive... and i have SO MUCH. So here's a few things i thought of:
-for my family, and knowing they are all safe and close by.
-Klay, to still feel of his love and to know that he is protected and happy.
-a home and a warm bed.
-food and water.
-the knowledge of a loving father in Heaven and a savior that i can turn to in prayer.
-being blessed for paying tithing.
-my pets! this may sound silly, but animals give so much love! I am grateful for my furry friends :)
-for friends who make it easy to do the right thing.
There is so much more that I could list! but those are a few things that i thought of. I hope that through our challenges we are able to step back and notice what we do have more than we notice what we don't have. I think we all need to daily ask ourselves, "today did i look at the glass half empty, or half full?" because there is a big difference! Thank you to everyone who has helped me out in any way, i truly am grateful.