Stuck

I really should be writing a paper right now, but I have just been really frustrated and I just need to write about it somewhere. Have you ever felt like you are stuck in a stage of your life that you will never get out of? Like you know someday it will all change, but in the moment it just seems like it is going to go on like this forever. That is how I am feeling. And I know this is a terrible outlook on life...I know a lot of you are thinking, geez just enjoy life, stop complaining blah blah blah. Let me tell ya, I'm trying, but like I said, I feel stuck. I feel like Klay is never coming home. Like I have been saying for a few months now, it is so close! But he is still not here. And I understand that might make me sound pathetic also... like I should be able to find friends and be social with other people besides Klay. which, again, makes me feel like I am stuck. I feel like I talk to a lot of people, and have a lot of friends, but lets face it, guys don't want to hang out with a girl who doesn't want to date them and I have always gotten along better with guys than girls. I loved last year, because I became really good friends with that group of guys and I always knew I would have fun with them, but now they are all gone to different places and I just feel alone. I am sick of trying to make new friends all the time, like can't people just come into your life and stay for a while? why does everyone leave? So i'm about to the point where I give up on being social and just wait for Klay. I guess I'll just stay stuck for 6 more months.

SIX!

Wow. I feel like I have so much to say and not the words to say it. I guess first of all... ONLY 6 MONTHS LEFT! The reality of how soon he comes home just keeps sinking in more and more! When I say 6 months, it seems like a lot....that's half a year. But! we started with 24, so I am pretty proud of how low of a number 6 is. We talk about it all the time. Maybe it's not a good thing, but I can't help telling him how excited I am, and it's a plus to hear him say how excited he is :) I always remind him to not be trunky though...don't worry :) If I thought he wasn't extremely focused on the work, i wouldn't talk about it as much, but he can handle it :) Second thought.. general conference was SO GOOD! I miss watching conference with my family, or with people for that matter. haha But I think being able to watch it on my own was a much needed experience. I was able to really focus on what they were saying with no distractions. They talked a lot about personal revelation, which meant a lot to me. I tend to not talk about little revelations that I have so much because sometimes I feel like it makes me sound like a crazy person. :) Like saying it out loud, "i had a revelation" i don't know it just sounds strange.. but really it is so special and it is such an amazing gift that Heavenly Father has given us to be able to receive revelation from him for ourselves. I don't remember receiving very many revelations before Klay left, maybe I wasn't paying attention, or I just wasn't asking a whole ton of questions about my life. I did receive some that I can remember, but ever since he left I have had to have a lot of questions answered and a lot of comfort given, about him and just about my life in general. I have to say, without the revelation I received, I don't think I would have waited. I couldn't have waited two years without knowing for myself that I would end up marrying him, it would just be too hard! So I am extremely grateful for the power of prayer, fasting, the scriptures, and definitely personal revelation. I have experienced tremendous blessings from all of them! President Uchtdorf (He is my absolute favorite btw) talked about this in one of his talks, he says:

"The Everlasting and Almighty God, the Creator of this vast universe, will speak to those who approach Him with a sincere heart and real intent. He will speak to them in dreams, visions, thoughts, and feelings. He will speak in a way that is unmistakable and that transcends human experience. He will give them divine direction and answers for their personal lives. Of course, there will be those who scoff and say such a thing is impossible, that if there were a God, He would have better things to do than hear and answer a single person’s prayer. But I tell you this: God cares about you. He will listen, and He will answer your personal questions."

I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Honestly I do not know what in the world I would do without it. Even though my life isn't so spectacular right now, it's kinda lonely, I can still find peace and happiness through my Savior, Jesus Christ. And how grateful I am for that! Until next time :)

Lacey lou waiting for you :)