Stuck

I really should be writing a paper right now, but I have just been really frustrated and I just need to write about it somewhere. Have you ever felt like you are stuck in a stage of your life that you will never get out of? Like you know someday it will all change, but in the moment it just seems like it is going to go on like this forever. That is how I am feeling. And I know this is a terrible outlook on life...I know a lot of you are thinking, geez just enjoy life, stop complaining blah blah blah. Let me tell ya, I'm trying, but like I said, I feel stuck. I feel like Klay is never coming home. Like I have been saying for a few months now, it is so close! But he is still not here. And I understand that might make me sound pathetic also... like I should be able to find friends and be social with other people besides Klay. which, again, makes me feel like I am stuck. I feel like I talk to a lot of people, and have a lot of friends, but lets face it, guys don't want to hang out with a girl who doesn't want to date them and I have always gotten along better with guys than girls. I loved last year, because I became really good friends with that group of guys and I always knew I would have fun with them, but now they are all gone to different places and I just feel alone. I am sick of trying to make new friends all the time, like can't people just come into your life and stay for a while? why does everyone leave? So i'm about to the point where I give up on being social and just wait for Klay. I guess I'll just stay stuck for 6 more months.

SIX!

Wow. I feel like I have so much to say and not the words to say it. I guess first of all... ONLY 6 MONTHS LEFT! The reality of how soon he comes home just keeps sinking in more and more! When I say 6 months, it seems like a lot....that's half a year. But! we started with 24, so I am pretty proud of how low of a number 6 is. We talk about it all the time. Maybe it's not a good thing, but I can't help telling him how excited I am, and it's a plus to hear him say how excited he is :) I always remind him to not be trunky though...don't worry :) If I thought he wasn't extremely focused on the work, i wouldn't talk about it as much, but he can handle it :) Second thought.. general conference was SO GOOD! I miss watching conference with my family, or with people for that matter. haha But I think being able to watch it on my own was a much needed experience. I was able to really focus on what they were saying with no distractions. They talked a lot about personal revelation, which meant a lot to me. I tend to not talk about little revelations that I have so much because sometimes I feel like it makes me sound like a crazy person. :) Like saying it out loud, "i had a revelation" i don't know it just sounds strange.. but really it is so special and it is such an amazing gift that Heavenly Father has given us to be able to receive revelation from him for ourselves. I don't remember receiving very many revelations before Klay left, maybe I wasn't paying attention, or I just wasn't asking a whole ton of questions about my life. I did receive some that I can remember, but ever since he left I have had to have a lot of questions answered and a lot of comfort given, about him and just about my life in general. I have to say, without the revelation I received, I don't think I would have waited. I couldn't have waited two years without knowing for myself that I would end up marrying him, it would just be too hard! So I am extremely grateful for the power of prayer, fasting, the scriptures, and definitely personal revelation. I have experienced tremendous blessings from all of them! President Uchtdorf (He is my absolute favorite btw) talked about this in one of his talks, he says:

"The Everlasting and Almighty God, the Creator of this vast universe, will speak to those who approach Him with a sincere heart and real intent. He will speak to them in dreams, visions, thoughts, and feelings. He will speak in a way that is unmistakable and that transcends human experience. He will give them divine direction and answers for their personal lives. Of course, there will be those who scoff and say such a thing is impossible, that if there were a God, He would have better things to do than hear and answer a single person’s prayer. But I tell you this: God cares about you. He will listen, and He will answer your personal questions."

I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Honestly I do not know what in the world I would do without it. Even though my life isn't so spectacular right now, it's kinda lonely, I can still find peace and happiness through my Savior, Jesus Christ. And how grateful I am for that! Until next time :)

Lacey lou waiting for you :)

Update

Wow I am terrible at blogging. I'm still here don't worry! :) Now Summer is gone and I am back at Weber going to school, Weber state, Weber state, great great great! :) It is good to be back at school I suppose. Lots of my friends aren't going to Weber this year, so it has been kind of hard for me, but I am busy again so time is passing quickly! And that makes me so happy. Klay gets home in 7 months! WHAT?! yeah, crazy I know. I try not to mention it in every letter that I write to him haha It is just so exciting! Speaking of that, HERE is month 14, 15, and 16! Don't forget to read the poem :) As for Klay, he is doing really well. He has his first hijo (son) Elder Seibers, and he is really proud of him. haha Klay makes elder seibers speak spanish in his voice recordings to me to show me how well he taught him :) They always sound so happy in the recordings, so that is good :) They are having a lot of success recently! To this day, Klay has had 19 baptisms!! What a stud. :) So..yeah I like to brag about him, he's great. As for me waiting, well i'm still waiting! haha It is still extremely hard. But it has gotten easier after we hit the year mark. I think it only got easier because I have gotten used to him being gone. But I still think of him every day and wish that he could be here with me. As bad as waiting has been, it has been good. For both of us. I think we have both learned a lot about ourselves, each other, and we have truly learned how to rely on our Savior, which has been a blessing that I wouldn't trade for anything. Find joy in the journey :)
-Lacey Lou WAITING FOR YOU!

Photo Challenge!!

I sent Klay a list of pictures to take, but I can't remember the list! haha so I am going to have him send it back to me when he finishes taking them all and then I will post all of his pictures! But he also sent me a list of pictures to take and here is what I got so far :) I will keep updating as I take them :) It has been fun to take them, and it makes me happy to know what he misses seeing :)

#1: You!

#11: Giving my mom (Both) a Big ole hug! (part 1 :)

#18: Doing Family history work with a thumbs up and super exaggerated smile

#19 Reading scriptures with deep ponder

#32: With your doggies :) I took more than 1 haha

Favorite scripture!

YW medallion!

Bride and Groom

This summer I got a job catering. It has been good and bad. Most of the events I cater are wedding receptions, so I get to see some pretty good ideas, last night someone had a s'mores bar...sweet! but at the same time, I usually leave just really wanting it to be my turn. Also me and Klay have a date set... the 25th of July, 2015, and it is finally less than a year until that day :) But I am starting to think I want it to be earlier in July... i don't know, me and Klay will decide later. But anyways, so I am really really ready to get married haha and I pretty much have everything planned out. And I am going to share what I have planned. Thanks to pinterest :) I hope you enjoy :)

BRIDESMAIDS:

I love the idea of everyone having different dresses :) But dresses that match the colors :) The bridesmaids will probably be my sister and sister in law, Klay's sister and sisters' in law, and a few friends... those friends will just have to be surprised when I ask them :)

 GROOMSMEN

I love grey vests. I think they look so dang good. So that is what the groomsmen will wear, with the same color of ties, but different patterns. Klay will have to decide who the groomsmen will be :)

MY GROOM

Well my groom will be no other than Klayton Kelsey, and I am so excited about that. :) I want him to wear this suit. haha He wants a black tungsten ring... :)

DA RING

This is the perfect ring! I have actually gone to try on rings a couple times and I love the rose gold ones. Not too much rose gold, but yeah, this is pretty much perfect.

THE DRESS

I don't really know what dress I want, I need to try more on, but I think these are super pretty :) I also love the mermaid style, but it has to be the right dress, I love lace and the sparkly belt around the waist.

FLOWERS AND COLORS

I want bright, summery colors. Teal, orange, yellow, pink :)

RECEPTION

I love the idea of a date jar, because I am terrible at deciding what to do! Plus I think people could put things that you would never think of! It is going to be in my backyard, and I want the yard decorated in lights :) Me and Klay have a thing for making lemonade, so that is a must for our wedding. I love the "love is sweet" theme for treats. I also want fireworks! and glow sticks, sparklers for the send off :) I want dancing as part of the reception, and when we cut the cake I am smashing it in his face :) 

PICTURES:

I of course want a lot of pictures to capture that special day. I have been waiting for it for a while, and I want great pictures to remember it for all of my life. Here are some that I definitely want to get.

I want an engagement picture with all of our letters!

Forgiving

Wow, what a boy I have. :) So a few months ago... like in January, I told Klay I was having a hard time without him. I told him that I would like to talk to him about it when he got home. But then he wrote me a letter in March and asked me to tell him what I was having troubles with... he said he didn't want to wait until he got home, he said that he wanted me to tell him everything now. Well the thing I was struggling with was Edgar. I couldn't quite get over him, and it was really frustrating for me! Because I always knew that I wanted Klay more than anything... but I was so lonely and just wanted the attention that edgar gave me I guess. So after Klay asked me to tell him, I prayed about it, cause I didn't want to tell him something that would make him super sad and distracted. After I prayed, I felt like it was the right thing to do to tell him, so I wrote him a letter about it, it was pretty vague, I didn't go in to much details, but I got the point across. Well he didn't get this letter until 1 week ago!!! 3 months! I was freaking out every P-day that he was going to get the letter and be super sad. But at the same time, he always tells me that he will forgive me for anything, and I trusted him that he would. When he got the letter he didn't say much about it, just hinted at it a little, this is what he said:
"lace, i dont expect you to be perfect. neither do i condemn thee. i confide in your words and they comfort me as they did before. Follow Christ. He is the light and the life. i hope that you have success with your talk and that many can feel the influence of the spirit. You are still my Hero. Thank you for your trust in me. Doctrine and Covenants 9:8-10. i hope that as you ask about me, that it will burn within your bosom. that it will be clear without stupor of thought. I love you little one."
So after getting that I was relieved. But I still wanted to know what he was really thinking... if he was disappointed a little, if he was surprised, if he trusted me anymore? The week after, he sent me a voice recording about it, and it was just what I needed. He was so understanding and forgiving. He reminded me that he is doing everything that he can, it is all my choice now. He can't stop things from happening with other boys, it is my choice. It reminded me of the quote from president Monson, "choose your love and love your choice." It is all a choice! No one can force us to love someone. People often say that they fell in love... as if it wasn't a choice, it was out of their control. But if you can "fall in love" you can easily "fall out of love". as if it is out of your control. Love is definitely a choice, and you have to choose every day. Klay also said in his voice recording,
"don't go searching in the garbage while the chicken is in the oven! God is cooking me!"
hahaha he is funny. I love Klay and I am happy and grateful that I have learned how to choose him every day. It is him with eternity, or someone else with temporary attention and guilt. Easy choice right? I just wish I would have thought of that earlier!

Also we reached 14 Months! here is the poem!

My Argentina nails :) They play Switzerland tomorrow in the world cup, Go Argentina!!

Make a wish! :)

Me with Klay's new nephew! Can't wait for Klay to meet him :)

Grateful

If you know me very well, you know that I really don't like reading. I have probably read a total of 10 novels in my life... . A lot of people really like it, they enjoy being in a different world for a while, being able to get caught up in the story. But for some reason I really don't. haha I do enjoy those things, but I feel like I should be living my own life, instead of spending hours reading about someone else's... especially if it's a fiction book. However, I do love reading books that give me a message, something that makes me think about my own life, something that makes me smarter. That probably explains why I am one of the few people that actually enjoy reading an anatomy textbook. I love the Book of Mormon, the Bible, the Doctrine and Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price, I have been taught how to relate them to my life, and they have taught me some of the greatest lessons, and gave me some of my much needed answers to prayers. I just finished reading the Elizabeth Smart book called, "My Story". For those of you who haven't heard about Elizabeth Smart... she was kidnapped when she was 14 and was rescued 9 months later. I remember when this happened. I would have only been 7 but I remember hearing about it on the news. I remember praying that they would find her and that she could be with her family again. But I never understood quite what she was going through during those 9 months that she was missing, until I read the book. I never could have imagined the terrible things that happened to her, but now I know. One chapter of the book is during Thanksgiving while she is with her captors. I was so impressed that even though she was living through these terrible things, she was able to find so many things that she was grateful for. This made me think, "how grateful am i?" because i am not being held captive... and i have SO MUCH. So here's a few things i thought of:
-for my family, and knowing they are all safe and close by.
-Klay, to still feel of his love and to know that he is protected and happy.
-a home and a warm bed.
-food and water.
-the knowledge of a loving father in Heaven and a savior that i can turn to in prayer.
-being blessed for paying tithing.
-my pets! this may sound silly, but animals give so much love! I am grateful for my furry friends :)
-for friends who make it easy to do the right thing.
There is so much more that I could list! but those are a few things that i thought of. I hope that through our challenges we are able to step back and notice what we do have more than we notice what we don't have. I think we all need to daily ask ourselves, "today did i look at the glass half empty, or half full?" because there is a big difference! Thank you to everyone who has helped me out in any way, i truly am grateful.